The road not taken
by BROOKLYN'S JEAN-MARIE
Summary: The road is as long as we make it to be. Life can be as complicated and peaceful as death or as easy and mesmerizing as taking a breath. It's better to lose some battles than be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for. Give it a chance
1. Chapter 1

This is a Bonnie and Stefan pairing but Damon will be one a main characters. I'm considering making it a **poly fic** but It all depends on what you guys think. If you think that I should go that route review and tell me.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

This story in a little au. There is no Jamie in this story (I hate him anyway) and Elena choose damon. Bonnie and Jeremy are together

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It hurts, it hurts badly. Well I can only assume that it hurts. I can't actually _feel_ it., but I know it's supposed to hurt, hurt badly.

So I take solace in that fact. A little pain is good, it reminds you that you're still alive. _I haven't felt alive in years!_

Jeremy is crying, he thinks this is his fault. _It Is_. But it really isn't, it's my fault. Everything is always my fault. That's what I'm good at, ruining things.

He pulls me into a tight embrace. It is meant to be comforting but everything feels wrong,it feels off. Like the world is spinning off its equilibrium. His warm breath feels like a brillo pad caressing my neck. _Has it always felt like this? Maybe it has. Maybe I've just never noticed before._

His hands are hot; scolding hot. It scorches my cheek when he leans in to cup them.

I hate it, it feels patronizing. I grit my teeth together to keep from screaming. _I want to scream,I want to scream badly._

I try not to flinch away from his touch. His hands are everywhere, trying to burn my body into its memory.

He's saying goodbye, and I let him. Jeremy needs this. I _should_ need this too, but for some reason I don't.

"I'm so sorry Bonnie" He says for the millionth time. I'm sure he is, to a certain extent.

He is sorry that he's been so unhappy, sorry he has to force his eyes shut to make love to me.

He is sorry that with every thrust into my body a shiver of disgust,not lust courses through him.

He is sorry that he can't explain the silent tears that fall when we finish, his and mines.

He is sorry that he doesn't love me anymore, sorry that it's taken him so long to realize he never did. At least not in the way a man is suppose to love a woman.

He is sorry he can't pretend to be happy anymore, or pretend to be something he's not.

I'm sorry too, I really am. I am sorry that I can't even find it in me to feel something; anything in this moment.

What I feel for Jeremy is as close to love as I'll ever be able to get. And yet it's not enough, it never was.

I'm not numb in this moment; I'm Indifferent. And that very thought should disgust me.

This is _supposed _to hurt. It should. _I wish it would_

_"_It's okay Jeremy_" _I whisper into his neck_. It really isn't _

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_Short chapters in the beginning. I will publish more each few days if I get enough of a response._

_Review_

_If I should continue_


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you (StillStacie , Dryan89) for reviewing

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

Next update (Just setting up where Bonnie is emotionally. Next chapter will have a time gap and a Salvatore brother ). Any questions, comments leave a review (**Please**). I'll answer every one

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It's raining, actually it is pouring. "_The old man snoring", _I think ruefully.

The sky is seemingly weeping. _How ironic. _

I'm glad _I guess_, burying my father on a sunny day would just be cruel. God can't be that cruel,can he?

_Maybe this is Lucifer's work_, _he seemed to have taken special interest in my life._

The service and the memorial pass in a blur. For a second I forget why I'm here. I'm completely ignorant for one beautiful, golden second. The best second of my life I suppose. I hate it here and now I resent that second.

Someone takes the podium and starts to speak. After a blink someone else is there, two more blinks and more people appear and disappear. That is what they do all day; talk. They talk about how loving my father was, how caring my father was, how great he was. _It kills me._ Every pass tense they use causes my blood to boil.

I want to lash out, I want to last out badly because these people don't even fucking know my father. But I don't. I can't. I have to play the part of grieving daughter quietly, so I do.

It is over and I'm thankful. I can't take much more today. I'm passed from arms to arms. Some arms are warm and others are as cold as ice. I wonder who these people are?

Death crawls down my spine and I realize I'm in Caroline's arms. She smiles sadly and kisses the side of my mouth. I shiver, I want to wrap my arms and beg her take me away from here. But that isn't fair to her; she has enough problems on her own. So I say nothing and get passed to the next set of arms. Whispered apologies and kind words float around me, they suffocate me but I say thank you to each one. _I think_

It is still raining as we walk back to the cars. I breathe in the salt of the air and step out from under Elena's red obnoxious umbrella. She doesn't stop me; she doesn't want to be here_. I don't want her here._ We're not friends, at least not anymore. Too much has happened, too much bloodshed to fix what is broken between us. She's just here to play the part of caring best friend. _I don't blame her._

The rain feels nice against my skin. It feels like my father's hugs. It feels like everything I've lost. Everything I'm losing.

I think I'm crying. I can't be sure.

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_Should I continue? Leave a review :) _


	3. Chapter 3

**Next update, Revised **

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**Two Years later**

A broken wrist, I broke my fucking wrist.

I broke my wrist trying to clean a bookshelf on a Friday night. _Crazy times huh?_ It's not like I anything better to do. _Not like I would have a date or something._ Cue Eye roll.

Grams had thought me a spell for cleaning but I won't use it. I haven't used magic since I left mystic falls. I've closed the book on that part of me long ago. Now I was just Bonnie Bennett the bland, boring, regular human_. Just the way I wanted it._

But yes I broke my wrist falling off a bookshelf, which is how I ended up in this exam room. The walls are white and bare. It feels platonic, it feels cold. _I like it_. I personally think cold is comforting, soothing. That's why I moved to New York. _That and to get away_ It is always cold here.

My stomach grumbles and I frown deeply. _I am so fucking hungry_. I had planned on cooking dinner after cleaning but instead I ended up here. _I knew I shouldn't had skipped lunch._

I contemplate leaving to get some food. I've been waiting for over an hour _anyways_. I bet I can sneak out and back in before the doctor even visit this room. _This is the worst part of having shitty insurance; no one really give a fuck about you. _I grab my belongings with my good hand carefully avoid moving my other. My_ left hand hurts like a bitch. _I walk toward the door staring at my feet, when the door swings suddenly barely missing my face by an inch.

_Fucking cock sucker that was close_. I should lash it out, this would be the perfect moment to lash out. But I won't, I'm sure it was an accident. I lift my head slowly and come face to face with a blast from the past.

"Nice to see you again judgey", his smooth silky voice says.

My heart beats triple speed, my tongue feels heavy. What the fuck_,_ in all the places in the world we both end up here._What are the fucking odds?_

"D-Damon?",I stutter out.

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Told you I would be introducing a Salvatore xD. Next chapter will have an explanation and maybe another POV

**A.N**- Someone asked me why I don't postpone my chapters until I get more reviews. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. I write because I have a story to tell. I write because it takes me out of the monotony of my real life. I do sincerely hope you guys like the story and it would mean a lot to me if you reviewed but I won't force your hands. Thank you for reading -Broo3lyn


	4. Chapter 4

Another update. Pretty short but you get two pov

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_"_You know I love you right?" She pause "I love you so much", Elena says quietly.

I nod, because I do know. She does love me. She's never made any secret about the way she feels about me. Time and time again putting herself and her friends in danger to save and protect me. I know she loves me but it isn't enough. _It never was_.

The wind howls around us and she shivers. I shrug off my coat and place it her shoulders. She might as well take my coat, she already taken my heart and soul too.

I know why she has brought me here, to let me down softly. She doesn't _want_ to hurt me. She doesn't _mean_to be shredding my heart into two, I take comfort in that.

I wish I could make this easier for her, tell her that I understand her choice and hope we can still be friends. But I can't, I feel frozen. Elena steps closer to me and wraps her arms around my neck. I try my hardest not to inhale the sweet scent. _I fail_. She smells like flowers; lilies and roses. It mouth watering and I'm brought back to my childhood. I'm brought back to memories of running through meadows while my brother chases me; _Better times, simpler times._

"Are you going to be alright?", she question. _No, No I'm never going to be alright._

"Yeah I'll be fine. I just want you to be happy. That is all I ever wanted for you.", I murmur into her ear. She doesn't respond. _I'm glad._ Her body shakes around me and I feel wetness on my neck. _She's crying, I think I am too._

I take a step back and look directly into her eyes. My god she is beautiful! My heart clenches and I wonder how I will ever get over her. I cup her cheek and feel as the blood flows underneath my hand. She is so warm, so alive. Everything I'm not, everything I'll never be.

I lean in and press my lips to hers. I mean to keep it chaste but her tongue caresses my bottom lip forcing me to deepen the kiss. Our tongues battle for dominance and I can't stop the growl that vibrates through my chest. This always happens, only she does this to me. I pull back and smile as she catches her breath. _She is amazing_. Her eyes are closed and her checks are flushed. I take a mental picture and whisper goodbye. _This is it_. I turn and run before she open her eyes.

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Elena opens her eyes to find herself alone. _He's gone, he's really gone_. Elena takes a deep breath to keep the tears at bay; she didn't think that this would hurt as much as it does. She tells herself that she is making the right choice. That it was selfish to keep them both, she had to make a choice and she did. End of discussion. She picked the brother she couldn't live without, the brother her life revolved around. The one her soul yearned for, the one she needed. _This had to be the right decision. It just has to be! _She thinks to herself**_._**

Elena walk slowly back to her house, admiring the scenery. She can't remember the last time she felt so free. As she walks into her home she calls out for Jeremy but gets no response. Elena assumes he isn't home. _He's always gone._

When Elena makes it into her room she finds a small envelop on her bed. The envelop is bright, the color of blood, She rips it open and finds and hand written note inside. Elena recognizes the handwriting; It belongs to the brother she did choose. Elena was just going to call him, to tell him her decision. She opens the letter and begins to read

_Dear Elena,_

_By the time you read this I will be far away from this town, from this life. But I wouldn't leave without some parting words_

_I Love you, I love you so very much._

_But I can't be selfish anymore. As much as I love you, I love him too. He's my brother and I cannot stand in the way of his happiness any longer. Our whole lives have been this, this constant dance of taking from each other, of hurting each other. I don't want to hurt him any longer. He deserves to be happy and you make him happy, you make everyone happy. There is a brilliancy that surrounds you and it burns and heals my heart simultaneously._

_I want you to know I can never thank you enough for loving me, for caring for me. You brought back a part of me that I thought I had lost long ago. I am now and have always been a monster, and I have no idea how you could love something as vile and weak as me but I thank you none the less for doing so. I know you think I'm wrong, that all monsters including myself can be redeemed. I disagree but must admit you were, by far the best part of me, now and always. You are more than I ever dreamed of having and way more than I deserved. I love you now and always will._

_I want you to tell my brother that I love him too. That I'm sorry for all that I've done to him and that I forgive him for everything. Tell him that I want him to be happy. That is all I've ever wanted to for him, for you, for all of you. I'm just sorry it's taken this long for me to figure that out._

_Goodbye Elena, I will always love you _

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So what do you guys think? I'm sorry this update took so long. I'm starting to lose motivation. Should I continue?

P.s I didn't use names for a reason ;)

Pretty Please review


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